When A was a little kid, she made up a song about how my workday went. She had an up close and personal view of my days since I worked from home and had my workstation set up inside our room. The song is set to the tune of Brahm’s lullaby but with her especially made up lyrics. It starts with the line “Go to sleep, my mommy…” and me falling asleep. It then goes to “and I will borrow your phone” since only then will she be able to use my phone to watch her videos and play her games. It goes on to me waking up, hugging her, declaring that I’m hungry and prepping a meal before starting to work. Then the next lines would go something like “…and you will go to work and get mad at some people.”

I’m very happy to report that for the past years, I have been consistent and have gladly played my part in ensuring the validity of those words. Today was no exception.

I pitied the people around me, even as I was using headphones and they can only hear one side of the conversation, it was very obvious how extremely annoyed I was at whoever was on the other line. I was getting pinged by other people in the call to say how I sounded like I was saying every word through gritted teeth. I wasn’t gritting my teeth, I never even raised my voice. I did however, use a tone I reserved when I am patiently explaining to 6 year olds or the exceptionally stupid. Not that 6 year olds are stupid, it just takes buckets of patience to get them to understand.

The call was draining. At the end of the day, I had very little talk in me and could only finish my work in silence. I wanted to apologize to the people around me but they either slunk away or silently waved a fearful goodbye.

I didn’t want to bring that dark and sullen air home so I treated myself to a foot massage and gummy bears and came home to the now 21 year old A. She will never know how her song rings true to this day.