POB

I need to vent. The past few weeks was a fucking shit show. This horrible project with horrible people is horrible. Nobody wants to be in it except the horrible people thriving in horribility.

This horribility compounded my extreme need to immediately leave the horrible organization which of course led to job hunting anxiety, loss of income panic and how can I get in desperation, which in itself earns a separate entry in this vent journal.

This journal, which is constantly remembered but have never elicited as much as a pffft of a drive to get updated. Until today…

Today is a journey that started on March 28 when in the middle of a meeting in the horrible project a Pile of Bones (POB) came knocking on my door asking me to take it to the hospital. POB introduced itself as my brother and refused the Php200++ I gave him to get him to leave me alone.

Alone is what I felt because POB’s mother refused to help and told me to just let it die. She has been consistent in this and to this day does not lift a finger to help and denies any responsibility to her spawn. So what do I do? I run to the good guy, the brother who has reason left in his being and who was smart enough to keep as much distance to his crappy family as he possibly can. I ran to him for help, I say how difficult the situation is for me. I say I know I need to be a good Christian and I need to fulfill my obligations to my father but I’m so conflicted because I cannot forgive POB for what he did to Miggy.

My Miggy who I wasn’t able to protect from demons like POB who roam this world. My Miggy who even asked me while he was still alive “bakit mo pa kasi tinutulungan yan?” My response then was because he is my brother. My insensitivity to my own son’s pain causes this boulder of grief that I carry and brings me so much remorse and pain until now.

Now my everyday consists of going to Mercury Drug several times a day, sometimes twice even before 8:00 am. Now my everyday is getting lists of things to do for POB, buy for POB, get for POB, bring to POB. POB, who not just depletes my bank account and patience but also sucks the life and energy from me because of his unceasing demands. POB, the demon who molested my son.

He was wearing Miggy’s boxers today.