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Again with the gruelling flight!

Some smartass check in dude decided to put me in a window seat and I felt the last vestiges of human decency leave me whenever I needed to get up and dislodge two people from their uncomfortable airplane seats. Never mind, I needed to get home and nothing and no one can stand in my way…literally.

I have been so tired lately that I fell asleep waiting to board. I was the last one out of the plane from Lima and I paid for it dearly in TSA time! I was even asked for details in LAX because I couldn’t recognize my own luggage. Ah, the joys of travelling as a single Asian woman.

But I am home now, with a month long cough from Lima, more than a few aches and pains, half a pair of birthstone earrings (lost them at the airport) and fond, fond memories of the past month.

I got a bit used to being alone. I now look forward to solitude, peace, and space. I need to reconnect with myself and account for past (ir)responsibilities. I don’t feel the need to come back to the old me. I want new focus and direction. I need a new purpose. I need to find a new north. I need to find home.

I miss my freedom, I miss the feeling of starting the day with nothing specific, I miss being alone with my thoughts. I want to travel by myself like I used to. I miss making decisions without the need to consider someone else. I want to feel without being asked why and I want to do without being asked how. And I don’t like that the next statement should be an apology and “I hope you understand. ”

The last year has been great, but I’m now paying the price for all the things that got dropped in order to make it so.